In Time: An Outlaw Queen Christmas
by RosesInSeptember
Summary: Outlaw Queen one-shot inspired by Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol."


_A/N: I was a part of a Secret Santa this month on Tumblr, and my gift was this Outlaw Queen one-shot inspired by Charles Dickens' _A Christmas Carol._ Post-4A midseason finale. Enjoy, and happy holidays!_

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><p><strong>Part 1: Christmas Eve<strong>

It had been seven weeks.

Although the Snow Queen's curse had lifted the snow and ice from town, it eventually began to fall again, ever-so gently on Christmas Eve, as the natural winter set in.

Around her, the house was silent and peaceful. Regina lay awake in her bed, clutching her stomach.

_Bah_.

This was becoming a regular pattern, one that she was not necessarily proud of: Emma insisted at least once or twice a week that Regina leave her house and join her for drinks. Last night, she and Emma had decided to follow up Christmas Eve afternoon at the Charmings' apartment decorating and baking cookies for the holiday with Christmas Eve drinks at Granny's so that, once again, she could try to forgot Robin and the seemingly unsurmountable challenge of figuring out the mystery behind that Author. That _damn_ author of her fate, preventing her from reaching a happy ending.

But that evening, a festive Ruby had crashed their table at the diner, and the liquor had flowed even more freely than usual. Before long, the diner was spinning around her, and Regina found herself in a place in which she had overindulged more than she'd ever recalled doing before.

And now it was 3 a.m., and Regina had been tossing and turning throughout the darkest part of the night, only managing to drift in and out of consciousness rather than falling fast asleep. Henry had stayed with Emma and the Charmings so they could open presents the next morning together (she promised she'd join them bright and early), and now she was glad that Henry wouldn't have to see a hungover mom first thing on Christmas.

As often happens when one is lingering in that foggy state somewhere between consciousness and sleep, her mind drifted on its own, voices and images filling her mind, everything from visions of her past - her mother, Snow, Daniel, Emma, Henry as a young boy - to the terrible images of a future of loneliness and unhappiness that undoubtedly awaited her unless she could figure out how to rewrite her destiny.

"Trouble sleepin', sister?" A voice cut through the darkness in her room.

Despite her pounding, spinning head, Regina shot out of bed.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house?" she cried, intending for her voice to instil fear but really only croaking out the words, her voice betraying her groggy, vulnerable state.

She scrambled for the robe that she'd tossed over the back of her chair, willing herself not to fall over in the process.

As her eyes adjusted, she could see one of Snow's dwarves standing in her room.

"How did you get in here?" she asked, squinting at him.

Grumpy shrugged. "Don't worry, I ain't really here. It's just my spirit, visiting you."

"Did you finally drink yourself to death, you insolent munchkin? Snow will be disappointed."

"Nope, still alive. My real self is actually passed out in the jail cell. Charming hauled me into my old cot, 'cause, like you -" he paused, assessing her, as she clutched the back of her armchair and attempted to stand up straight "-I got a lil' carried away earlier tonight."

"Then what is this all about?"

"All I can say is I am here 'cause - well, I don't know who the hell sent me, must be some sort of residual fairy dust magic, that stuff gets to me every one in a while - but I was told to let you know you're about to go on a little trip," the dwarf explained gruffly.

"A trip where?" she snapped, her patience wearing thin.

Grumpy motioned to a stack of books on her bedside table. "Ain't you read those books yet? Belle told me they're way past due at the library. Anyways, one of 'em is called a Christmas Carol, and like Ebenezer Scrooge - whom might be one of your long-lost relatives, by the way, you two share some common characteristics - you're gonna take a little adventure into your past, present, and future Christmases."

"No, I'm not. Now get-"

"You ain't got a choice in the matter, sister," he interrupted her. "Your adventure starts… now."

Grumpy then began whistling. And with the sound of his whistle, the already-dark room got darker, until her vision was obscured with nothingness, and Regina felt herself sink into another place and time.

**Part 2: Christmas Past**

There had been no Christmas in the Enchanted Forest, but every year there was a Yuletide winter festival that commemorated the winter solstice. Dancing, balls, crackling fires and mouth-watering feasts… all were a part of the festivities.

Regina had nearly forgotten about the holiday until she suddenly found herself amongst a massive ball like the ones that she had been forced by her mother to attend as a teenager. She gasped as she looked down at herself: she was still wearing her grey satin pajamas and robe amongst an imposing palace ballroom filled with exquisitely dressed ladies trotting around in elaborate ball gowns and men sporting their finest tuxedos and royal regalia.

She waved her hand to use her magic to change her outfit, but nothing happened.

"What is this nonsense?" she muttered, focusing all of her energy into her magic, but her pajamas didn't morph into the dress she was willing them to become. She then thought of a simpler gown and tried that, but still no luck.

She quickly glanced around the ballroom: it was Leopold's palace, she realized. The very palace that she would later be obligated to live in as Queen. Perhaps she could just escape this party, she knew the way out by heart…

She gasped in horror as a guest, mindlessly talking to her companion, walked straight towards her, giggling madly. Regina quickly tried to step out of the way, but the woman didn't even notice her there… and walked right through her.

_Of course_, thought Regina. _I'm some sort of ghost. Not _really_ here._

As her heartbeat normalized, she also noted that her pounding headache was gone and her stomach had settled, and she could at least stand up straight and look around without bleary eyes.

As she gazed around the room, a girl caught her eye.

It was herself.

Of course. She had already been to this very ball.

She had been… sixteen at the time? About two years before she would rescue Snow on the runaway horse. Her mother had secured an invitation for her to the Yule Ball, hoping no doubt that she would land a husband (at sixteen, her mother had already been full-on pressuring her to find a suitable man to marry, implying that she was fast becoming an old maid.)

Even though Regina was a "ghost" of sorts, she felt herself shiver at the memory.

She looked so young back then, she observed. Her fresh, glowing, creamy skin peeking out of the fluffy pastel ball gown (that had not been at all her style, nor did it complement her coloring; it looked more like something Snow would wear). She watched as her younger self shifted uncomfortably in the gown, and gazed, wild-eyed and a little bit afraid, around the room.

A boy, a few years older than her perhaps, took her hand, and asked her to dance, and she agreed. Regina couldn't remember much about him, just another member of one of the royal families in Fairy Tale Land, one of the many bland men with no personality and a wandering eye that as a girl she'd been uninterested in.

She couldn't watch herself anymore. She felt her eyes well up as she realized that she had been so, _so_ very innocent and naive back then. It felt like she was looking at another person entirely.

The room faded away.

**_._._**

She found herself outside of the palace now, but it was still the same night of the Yule Ball. Music swelled from inside the palace and echoed through the dark woods surrounding the regal place.

There she was again: Regina watched as her younger self trotted out of the palace, escorted by yet another nameless male whom her mother would have undoubtedly been happy to marry her off to (what if she had married one of them, Regina wondered? Perhaps it would have been so much better than ending up with Leopold? Might she have been a tad happy? Happier, at least? She would never know…) and then as she watched her younger self waiting and chatting politely with the tall man, a carriage pulled up to the palace.

Regina gasped as she realized what was about to happen.

Despite herself, despite every inclination she had to run away and flee into the woods behind her, Regina instead ran towards the carriage, just because… she wanted to see his face again. She couldn't help it. She _always_ wanted to see him again.

And there he was, perched in the driver's bench of the carriage, his soft, kind face gazing down at her younger self. He hopped down from the carriage, and extended his hand to the young Regina.

"Good evening, my lady," he said to her, smiling at her with that lovely smile that she missed dearly, the smile that had consumed her memories and both comforted and haunted her through ten miserable years of marriage and countless, endless years of unhappiness and loneliness, a tiny seed of happiness and loveliness that planted and grew in her memory, even during her darkest days.

Daniel.

Regina's eyes welled with tears for real now as she watched her younger self break into a wide smile, clearly relieved at the sight of Daniel. Such innocence and hope was still radiating from her face. That night was back when things still felt _possible_ for Regina, when she thought she could have a life with him one day. They could one day bear those dreaded Yule Ball parties together, she had once (naively) thought.

Instead of allowing him to direct her into the back passenger area of the carriage like a proper lady would, young Regina moved towards the bench so she could sit up front with him as he drove them home. He boosted her up willingly, then followed, and clicked his tongue at the horses to signal them.

As the carriage pulled away, the ghostly spirit version of Regina stood, unable to move, her cheeks damp with tears, watching it disappear into the night.

The night faded away.

**_._._**

She still was not home. Next, she found herself in a little village, and for a moment she was confused because she could not recall this location at all. It was a dark, starry night, and she heard voices. Turning around, she observed a younger version of herself - but this time, older than before, she was married to Leopold by now - walking in the dark.

She was with Tinker Bell, they were holding hands as Tinker Bell walked them down the narrow cobblestone street.

"No," ghost-Regina said to herself. "No, no, no," she said, not wanting to witness what was coming next. She couldn't bear this. How many times… _how many times_ through the years had she gone over this moment, and especially how many times had she been through it in her mind this past year especially?

She. Could. Not. Stand. This.

She tried to move, to flee the scene, to use her magic to poof herself away anywhere but here, but no matter what she did, or how hard she tried, she could not actually step more than a few feet from where she had been placed and she certainly couldn't poof herself away. She was really there, stuck, and she couldn't leave.

Her younger self and Tinker Bell were outside the tavern, and as she watched them peer into the dirty window of the old, squat, unremarkable place, her heartbeat quickened. She just couldn't deal with this. That damn dwarf - or _whomever_ - had subjected her to this horrible journey would have to pay.

She knew what was next: she would open the door, clam up, and flee the scene, but not before she gazed upon the forearm of the man, her soul mate, where he had a lion tattoo… the tattoo her eyes wouldn't see again for over three decades later in Storybrooke.

Feeling ill again, she watched as her younger self and Tinker Bell chatted in front of the window. Tinker Bell was enthusiastically urging her reluctant younger self on. Regina watched as her younger version stepped back uncomfortably, stalled, and then took a deep breath, and walked to the door. Tinker Bell stepped back, while Regina opened the door and -

The events then shifted. To Regina's shock, Tinker Bell stopped watching young Regina, and turned her gaze towards _her_. Present-day, ghost-Regina in her pajamas. Regina opened her mouth, wondering whether she should say something. She thought that she wasn't _really_ here, in these places, was she?

Tinker Bell gazed at her. Yes, her eyes were definitely meeting hers, Tink really _saw_ her. No one else had seen her earlier in the other scenes at the ball, right? An uncertain Regina raised her hand in a strange sort of half-wave.

Tinker Bell smiled at her in reply, and nodded her head, indicating that she should step forward and gaze into the doorway of the tavern with her.

It was then that Regina realized her younger self had not fled the scene mere seconds later, as she recalled had really happened. Instead, her younger self was still inside the tavern, the door still open behind her.

Regina strode over to Tinker Bell, and Tinker Bell, without saying a word, stepped up to the doorway with her, and they both gazed inside to watch the scene play out.

Inside, it was warm, smoky and dark, with the buzz of conversation and laughter drifting out into the night.

She watched as her younger self, dressed in that light, flowing chiffon dress, _talked_ to Robin.

"What?" she hissed under her breath, and she felt Tinker Bell shift knowingly beside her, but the fairy didn't say anything and Regina didn't dare take her eyes off the scene.

They couldn't hear the conversation, but Regina and Tinker Bell watched in silence: Robin laughed, and then younger Regina laughed, and then after another minute of talking, Robin took her tenderly into his arms… and kissed her, sweetly, delicately, on the lips.

As ghost-Regina watched in disbelief, she saw Tinker Bell next to her point to something on the ground. A scarf had been dropped on the ground next to the outside wall of the tavern. it looked like something Robin would wear, and as she bent down to retrieve it, she somehow knew it was his.

As Regina picked it up, she felt the world go black.

**_._._**

Regina had returned to her room. She wasn't in her bed, though: she was standing in the same place she'd been before she disappeared. Her stomachache and headache had returned.

For a moment, she was reeling and was tempted to assume she'd just woken up from a bizarre, alcohol-induced dream.

And then the dwarf walked in.

"Damn, you got some good chocolate chip cookies downstairs."

"What are you still doing here?" Her croaky voice had also returned.

In that moment, she had the good sense to magic herself into a simple outfit of a sweater and skirt so she'd no longer be standing around in her pajamas in front of the dwarf. Or in the middle of balls in palaces or tiny villages.

Grumpy shrugged.

"Like I said, no clue, just followin' instructions," he said, shoving the cookies into his mouth while she looked on disapprovingly as he dropped crumbs on her Persian rug.

"Can you at least get a plate? Or better yet, leave?" she snapped.

"Nope," he said. "You've completed trip number one - sure stinks about the thief, huh? - but you've still got two more to go on, unless you want to be damned to eternal flames or carryin' around chains for the rest of your life or be tied to your apple tree forever, or something like that."

"What the hell?" she said, plopping down on her chair and holding her pounding head in her hands. "Who is giving you these instructions?'

He ignored her question.

"Here," he said, handing over an aspirin and a glass of water.

"Where did you-" she squinted up at him, then sighed. "_Nevermind_," she said sofly, popping the pill into her mouth and chasing it with a sip of water.

"Look, you've still got two more journeys to take tonight, so buckle up. Number two is Christmas present. An' I don't mean 'present' as in a bottle of whiskey under the tree - which, by the way, is definitely on my list - but it's something that's happening right now. Oh, you might need these," he said, shoving a small pack of Kleenex into her hand.

"Have fun. I'll be here when you return," he called as the room began to fade, and the last thing she heard was Grumpy's voice saying, "Oh, an' I hope you don't mind if I help myself to a lil' bit of your cider…"

**_._._**

She was in an apartment. It was plain, with white walls, an exposed brick wall along one side, attractive studio lighting, a large window facing another building across the street.

There was a small Christmas tree in the corner on a little old folding table. The apartment smelled slightly of pine and vanilla. Regina slowly turned around, taking in her surroundings, a plaid blanket on the couch, some books stacked on a coffee table, a cheerful potted poinsettia near the window. It was a lovely, domestic setting, very normal, if not a little plain.

She heard voices in the hall and froze. The door opened, and a little dimpled boy shot into the room, making a beeline towards the Christmas tree and placing a little wrapped package underneath it.

Regina sucked in a breath. _Roland_.

Robin and Marian followed, both carrying bags of groceries and other assorted things. They seemed fine, almost normal, although didn't say much to each other, just focusing on their little son, who trotted over to his mom and peered inside a grocery bag, helping her unload the things and place them in the kitchen.

"Can we make cookies now, mamma?" he asked in his sweet voice, and Regina smiled, despite herself.

"In a moment, my dear. Why don't you go wash your hands?" said Marian.

He obeyed and ran into a little bathroom off to the side.

Robin took Marian's bags from her. "Go sit down for a moment. Rest," he urged her.

"But who will make cookies with Roland?" she asked, shaking her head.

He smiled. "Come on, I can get it started. Take a moment. You're still recovering."

She sighed. "I'm tired of this. It's been _weeks_ and I still don't feel myself."

She moved towards the couch and sat down. Regina studied her. She looked less vanilla than she had in Storybrooke in her dour cloak and dress. She was very pretty, and modern-day clothes from this world suited her graceful figure.

With a pang of jealousy, she watched as Robin moved around their kitchen, putting away her groceries, pulling out the recipe for cookies with Roland and getting all of the ingredients and bowls in place for Marian.

They turned on Christmas carols then, and all three of them cheerfully set about baking.

And Regina, biting her lip, looked down, finding the scene of calm domesticity starring the man she loved with another woman - albeit his wife - too difficult to observe any longer.

The scene faded to black.

**_._._**

The room then reappeared, and it was nighttime. Roland was gone, and a stack of fresh cookies sat on a plate on the counter in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Marian was sitting down again, this time on a chair at the kitchen table, and Robin was pacing in front of the small Christmas tree.

"There has to be a way. Go back again, like you did a few weeks ago, patrol the area, look around for something - _anything_ that would let you back in. I'm fine now," Marian said in a hushed, but serious, voice.

"I've said it a thousand times, I'm not going to leave Roland or you in this godforsaken place."

Marian looked up at him, her eyes watery, her jaw set. "You already have, you know. You may have chosen to come with me but your heart chose _her_. I'm already alone."

Robin sighed heavily and clenched his fist. "It doesn't matter. There's no way in, and there's no one I'd rather be with than you if I'm staying out in this world."

"This isn't fair to me. Or Roland," she hissed. "I don't deserve to be someone's second choice, and you know that. Your heart belongs with someone else, someone out there in the universe, and you can't let it go. So don't. Go after it. There must be a way."

He closed his eyes. "Please don't be angry. This is… a bad situation."

"You know I'm not angry," she said evenly, and it was true, she clearly wasn't. "But I can't keep living like this. It's unfair to you, to Roland, and to me. We _both_ have to move on."

He turned to her then, and hugged her.

"You are a wonderful woman," he sighed. "You do deserve so much better than this… than me."

She smiled, and laughed. "I know I do. But you deserve to have what you want, too. And I know you… if you feel strongly about something, it's going to destroy you if you don't do something about it. So go. Don't let it destroy you, Robin."

She stood up and walked into another room. Regina heard a door click shut.

Robin stayed in the living room, and Regina's heart was threatening to burst out of her chest. It was beating so loudly that she couldn't believe that Robin couldn't hear it. _Was this really him?_

_Was she really watching him… now?_

_Where were they? _

_Could she get to him? _

He still wanted her.

He was still choosing her, even though they both thought they had been separated forever.

Regina was able to move closer to Robin, and so she did now that Marian was out of the room. She was so close that she could smell him… that beautiful, wonderful smell of pine, and fresh air, and just… him. Her heart continued to beat wildly, and as she stretched out her hand, she could see it tremble ever-so-slightly. She bit her bottom lip and touched his sleeve-

And her hand went right through his arm, as though he - or she - were made of nothing but air.

She sighed heavily then, and choked back a tear.

Through her blurry vision, she could see him pull something out of an inside pocket of his vest. The Christmas lights from the tree illuminated his face - his solid, handsome face - and she noticed his eyes glisten as he looked down at what he held in his hand.

It was a tiny box.

He opened the lid of the box, and Regina's gaze followed his hand as he reached in and pulled out a delicate gold necklace.

He held it up to the light of the tree, looking at it, watching it as it dangled from his hand.

The necklace had a delicate chain and a charm on it: it was a tiny golden bird. On its wing, a tiny gemstone sparkled in the low light. It looked like a emerald.

Was it a gift for Marian? Regina stepped back from Robin, suddenly feeling too much like an intruder into their personal life, their new life together.

But then Robin whispered something, the low sound of his voice cutting through the darkness in the room and reaching into the depths of Regina's core, filling it with warmth and happiness and… promise.

"Merry Christmas, my lady. My Regina. Wherever you are. This is for you… if we ever meet again."

He then placed the necklace back in its box, and tucked it safely in his pocket, and as Regina idly tried to reach out to touch him one more time, the room faded to black.

**Part 4: Christmas Yet to Come**

"I think you need this more than me," Grumpy's voice said and Regina found herself once again deposited back in her bedroom, the dwarf's hand extended, offering a full glass of her hard apple cider to her.

This time, Grumpy was lounging in his grubby clothes on her expensive chaise longue surrounded by empty cookie tins and a nearly empty bottle of her finest cider.

Regina was starting to find the dwarf to be the least difficult part of her evening, and so she ignored the sight for now.

"No. I mean, yes, I would take it, but I think my headache just went away and I'd rather not bring it back right now. I'll save it for my next night out on the town with Emma," she replied bitterly, leaning up against her dresser as she caught her breath, wishing her memories of the last journey would leave her mind. Quickly.

Grumpy just sat in silence, crunching on one last cookie.

"This is the last time I order one of Granny's burritos and chase it with five shots of tequila," she muttered to herself after a moment, shaking her head.

Grumpy raised his eyebrows. "You touched one of Granny's burritos? That's explains it. Better stick with the hamburgers and fries, sister."

"Noted. Thanks," she said through gritted teeth.

"You ready for the next and final trip?" the dwarf asked.

"Not particularly," she said. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Uh, it's for you atoning for being evil, an' doing this to get out of being chained in a room of eternal fire and brimstone, or somethin' like that. I forgot. Like I said, I was a little drunk earlier, too."

"Of course."

"Ready?"

"Fine," she said, sighing in resignation as Grumpy began to whistle and the room faded before her.

**_._._**

She was back in Robin and Marian's apartment. This time, it was clearly at least a year later.

The apartment had more furniture and looked even more modern and elegant than before, and the tree was bigger and fuller than the one she'd seen in her last trip. It was a nice apartment, but somehow seemed less cozy, and less homey, than it had in her previous visit.

Roland was at least a year older. Regina couldn't help but smiling as she saw the boy run into the room in his pyjamas, grinning widely, and tackle the pile of presents spread under the tree. It was Christmas morning, apparently.

Regina watched as Marian came out of the bedroom, fully dressed and looking elegant, if not a tad tired judging from the shadows under her eyes.

There was a knock on the door. Marian opened it and let Robin in.

Robin looked terrible.

Marian sighed, clearly discouraged about his appearance as well, and said hello in a forced-polite tone.

Robin walked into the living room. Regina wasn't sure what was wrong with him: he looked scruffy, and skinnier than usual. He appeared much, much older than anyone should look after the one year that had passed. His clothes seemed dirty and his shirt was untucked. He looked like he could use a shower, a hot meal, and a good night's sleep.

When she had last seen Robin, he was still the familiar man he'd been when she'd last left him at the town line: handsome and healthy, strong and energetic. This Robin looked like the wind would knock him over.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Cinnamon rolls?" Marian said to him.

"Try the cinnamon rolls, daddy!" Roland called, clearly oblivious (or accustomed to) the appearance of his haggard father as he began opening the small gifts in his stocking.

"Thanks," he said, his voice hoarse, betraying a lack of sleep.

"You need to take care of yourself," Regina heard Marian scold gently as she set down the coffee and cinnamon roll in front of him. "I worry about you."

He just gave her a solemn look and didn't reply, silently chewing on the sticky cinnamon roll, the mug of coffee steaming in front of him as he watched Roland open the gifts.

Regina, still in shock at the sight of such a haggard Robin, could barely collect any thoughts about the situation unfolding before her when the room faded.

**_._._**

She found herself back in her house. Only it was now the middle of the day, and Grumpy wasn't there so she clearly hadn't "woken up" from the adventure yet. Sure enough, she heard the doorbell ring and the clicking of her heels on the wood floor and Henry, another year or even two years older than he should be at present, trotted down the stairs.

"I'll get it," he said, and Regina was startled slightly by his deep, mature voice.

"Thank you," she heard her own voice call from the direction of the kitchen.

Henry opened the door and a merry bunch stepped inside, bringing with them little snowflakes swirling in from the wintery outdoors: Snow and little Neal, now walking… he looked about two. Then Emma followed, tall and elegant in her trademark red jacket and boots, followed by a smartly-dressed Hook. Charming came in last, carrying an armful of presents. Emma circled her wrist in a little wave and festive holiday music magically began to play. Snow laughed giddily at the music as toddler-Neal also squealed in delight, her sparkling laugh rising above the rest of the happy chatter.

The room was instantly filled with warmth and happiness, and Regina could smell delicious things drifting from her kitchen. She watched herself walk toward the front entrance, wiping her hands on her apron as she greeted the chipper bunch, hugging them all warmly, even the pirate.

As ghost-Regina followed herself and the others into the living room, she watched as everyone settled in, laughing and talking and picking at the appetizers that she'd placed on elegant platters around the room. She saw herself smile and laugh as she momentarily danced with David, who had grabbed her for a brief turn to the music while Snow was busy dancing with baby Neal, whom she'd lifted into her arms.

Ghost-Regina observed the scene for a while, and as she realized how pleasant her future Christmas was, it was with a heavy heart she recalled the sad sight of Robin and Marian and their lonely Christmas. How could she be happy when Robin was out there, clearly deteriorating from… what, she didn't know. Could someone waste away from of a broken heart? She wouldn't have believed it, but that was the only thing that came to her mind when she thought of his haggard appearance.

As she watched the scene play out before her eyes, she gradually realized a few things. As she watched her future self move around the room, offering up appetizers and treats to her guests, talking and laughing politely, she noticed that she wasn't _herself_, either. She seemed content, yes… she was clearly surrounded by loving family and friends, and she _seemed_ happy, that in itself a marked change from Christmases past. But there was something missing, a certain emptiness she began to pick up on. Her eyes were sad and her mouth turned down at the corners too often while those around her were laughing and talking and acting far more relaxed and content.

Time passed during the Christmas party, and eventually the scene before her eyes lapsed into a picture-perfect image of them all sitting at her table, eating a beautiful Christmas dinner: turkey, stuffing, various roasted vegetables, fruit. As they ate, they continued to talk, David suggesting that maybe they could manage to celebrate Thanksgiving now that they all liked each other.

"Any chance your New Year's resolution might be to crack open that book again, Regina?" asked Emma as she poured her a fresh glass of red wine.

Ghost-Regina watched herself as she dropped her eyes to her lap and wiped her mouth daintily with a white cloth napkin.

"I think we agreed that it was a dead end… there was no hope in finding out anything about the Author," said her future self in a flat tone.

"Oh come on, Regina, you were doing so well until you all of the sudden just gave up hope," said Snow sweetly.

Her future self rolled her eyes. "You and your damn hope."

The dinner conversation abruptly died down, and the mood shifted.

"What's the use of having hope when the person I thought would make me happy is stuck forever on the other side of the town line?" Regina explained, her voice evening out.

"We can keep going, mom. It might take years, but we'll figure it out," insisted Henry, who was seated next to her.

Regina saw herself soften and reach out and take his hand into her own.

"I know. But I just don't…" her future self said, but it was cut off.

"Dude, this is getting depressing," said a loud voice next to her, and ghost-Regina jumped.

It was Grumpy.

"Wait, how are you here now?" she asked, glancing back at the table, where the scene of her future Christmas was still playing out, though she couldn't hear the conversation any longer.

"I think I've made it damn clear by now I don't have the answers, but I can tell you that this ain't necessarily how your future is gonna go. I'm tired of this depressing stuff. Let's go an' see somethin' else. Something less likely to drive me - an' you - back to the bottle," he said, gently taking her elbow as they once again disappeared in time.

**Part 4.5: Christmas Yet to Come (take 2)**

It was the same Christmas, two years later, at her house, but as the scene came into focus, this variation could not have been more different.

Her friends and family were still there: Emma, Hook, David, Snow, baby Neal, Henry. They were still laughing, talking, eating, and drinking, spontaneously dancing to the music that was softly playing in the background.

But there were more decorations. Massive boughs of fresh pine trailed up and down the bannister of her staircase, wreaths of fragrant fir and cedar hung in her windows, a fire happily crackled in the fireplace. The food was richer, spicier, and even more fragrant than before.

As ghost-Regina (along with her newly acquired escort, ghost-Grumpy,) moved closer to the group gathered in the living room, she heard the telltale click of her heels on the wood floor, and turned around to see herself entering the room, this time in her rich royal blue dress, which, admittedly, looked stunning on her, paired with jewelled red earrings. Her hair was longer than before, flowing in soft waves past her shoulders. Beside her, Regina heard Grumpy mutter a quiet "damn."

As she watched her future self enter the room, red lips smiling, her eyes soft and cheeks slightly flushed, and set the tray of hors d'oeuvres down on a table, ghost-Regina detected movement from the hall.

She sucked in a breath as she saw him.

Robin.

He was trailing behind her, carrying another plate of food. He quickly popped a tomato bruschetta into his mouth from the plate he had been entrusted with and ghost-Regina, noting that her future-self didn't notice, let out a laugh, a sound of relief mixed with joy.

As the music swelled - a classic, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," Robin tapped Regina on the shoulder and she turned around, smiling as he took her into his arms and they danced slowly around the room. Soon they were joined by Emma and Killian, then Snow and Charming. As ghost Regina watched herself be twirled around the room by Robin, the room faded.

**_._._**

They were all sitting next to the tree. It was later; they were all cradling mugs of coffee and hot chocolate with cinnamon. Boxes and ribbons and torn wrapping paper surrounded them, remnants of the little gifts that they'd exchanged.

"This one is for you," Robin said, handing Regina a flat package.

A brightly smiling Regina in the blue dress took the package and carefully tore off the green paper.

Inside was a simple gold picture frame, and as she studied it, she smiled.

"Where did you find this?" she asked, looking over at Robin incredulously, who just beamed at her.

"I'll tell you later. The point is, we have it. I thought it fitting that it be framed, so we can look at it - as a reminder."

"What is it, mom?" Henry asked.

She gave it another long gaze before she turned the frame around to show everyone.

"It's our - well, it's that page. Page 23. The one from the book we found," Regina explained, glancing up and sharing a knowing smile with Emma and Henry.

"It's lovely that you now have that original page, Regina," said Snow, smiling warmly.

Future Regina, still smiling and shaking her head in seeming disbelief, simply kissed Robin as ghost-Regina faded away.

**_._._**

When the room came into view again, it was just Regina and Robin in a silent and nearly-dark house, save for one lonely lamp near the entry way. Everyone had gone, and the fire had died down to just the embers that were lazily popping and crackling every once in a while.

Ghost-Regina watched as Robin took future Regina's arm and led her to the foyer. At first ghost-Regina thought he was going to leave, but then as she watched, she noticed him steer her under a little sprig of something hanging from the entryway. Of course. Mistletoe.

She watched as the version of herself in the blue dress laughed softly and let Robin kiss her under the plant, softly at first, and then deeply, his hands slowly trailing from the sides of her arms, to her waist, to her backside.

Beside her, ghost-Grumpy cleared his throat. "Ah, I think I'll leave you here. See you 'round, sister." And with a light pop and a whistle, he disappeared.

It was now just ghost-Regina watching herself - was it _really_ her future self?! - kiss under the mistletoe. Eventually, Robin drew back and reached into the pocket of his pants. A flushed Regina still seemed to be lost in the haze of the moment. She was focused on Robin's face, not where his hands were. But as he brought his hands - and with them, a tiny box - up next to his chest, she saw herself glance down at it, and something inside caught her attention.

For a moment, ghost-Regina remembered the little bird necklace and wondered if it was that.

But instead, she saw something flash and sparkle as it caught the light in the room and she watched as Robin dropped to one knee.

She sucked in a breath, and waited, in disbelief, as her blue-dressed self momentarily clasped her hand to her chest, the other tucking her hair behind her ear, then excitedly reached down to pull him up into a standing position again, kissing him urgently.

"So is it a yes?" she heard him pull away from their kiss and ask in a husky, almost nervous voice.

And then she only heard her laughter, ringing out brightly through the room, and saw herself nod, not uttering a word but saying enough as Robin gently slipped the ring on her finger.

Despite never wanting to leave the moment, the scene faded before her.

**_._._**

Now, she was in her bedroom. It was night outside. But she had not returned to the present time. There was no Grumpy. This was not the same room that she had left at all. The furniture had been rearranged slightly, and it was somehow a bit more filled. She noticed that a few of Robin's things were scattered around the room: his socks on her rug, a leather satchel tossed in the chair near the window.

She looked down at herself. She was no longer wearing the simple outfit she had been in, but rather, the stunning blue dress she'd watched her future self wear earlier. Her hair was also slightly longer.

She glanced at her left hand. There was a ring there. A beautiful, big diamond was set in the center surrounded by a circle of many tiny diamonds and emeralds. Mesmerized, she watched it catch the low light of the room.

She sucked in a breath. What was happening? She was no longer a ghost-Regina, a bystander and silent observer. Was she - _herself_? But in this… this future?

The door opened, and someone entered.

It was Robin.

Before she could second guess the situation, Robin was at her lips, and succumbing to the moment, her mouth parted to greet his. She felt his hands everywhere, up and down her arms, grasping at her waist, sliding up and down her back. She was real, as was he. No longer a ghost or a wisp of air, she could clutch him, hold him tight.

She felt his arms, those solid, strong arms, and she allowed herself to sink into the familiar taste of him, and the smell… he smelled of the fire downstairs, of crushed pine and cedar and fir, and that smell that was distinctly Robin. _Hers_. Her Robin.

She slowly directed him towards her bed, and he followed so very willingly. She was then on her back, he trailing kisses up and down her neck, at her ear, her flushed chest. She popped off his sweater, and he gingerly found the tiny zipper of her dress along her back, pulling it down, the sensation of cool air hitting soft skin causing shivers and gooseflesh on her skin.

They sank deeper into the soft bed, then, and Regina allowed herself to succumb to the moment, the sensations of a night with Robin, one that was without care, without concern, one that was filled with promise, and hope, and simple contentment.

They fell asleep in each other's arms later, settled comfortably in the silent house that smelled of fire and pine.

**Part 5: Christmas Morning**

Regina woke up in her own bed. It was Christmas morning. She heard a bird chirping somewhere outside, and snowflakes were gently drifting outside her window.

All around her, the house was silent. Peaceful.

She rolled over. Her headache was gone, her stomach was fine. She sat up, and she was back in her pajamas, the ones she'd been wearing on Christmas Eve after her night with Emma, and her robe was tossed over the back of her chair. There was no sign of the dwarf, the empty chocolate chip cookie tins, the crumbs, or the empty bottle of her fine apple cider that he'd (supposedly) consumed while waiting for her. There was a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on her bedside table, though she supposed she'd set those there herself the night before.

Had it been a dream?

But… it didn't _feel_ like it had been a dream. Everything had seemed so real. But there were things that didn't add up, that didn't make sense, either.

She held her head in her hands, and sighed. She wondered if she should feel sad, and lonely. But she didn't. Somehow, she felt like she had returned from a visit to old friends, old loves, who still existed somewhere in the universe. She had been able to see Daniel's beautiful face again. It had always been buried deep in her memory, but _seeing_ him last night was a reminder that he would always live on in a part of her.

She had seen Robin and Marian and Roland, and they were okay, for now.

Then there had been that future scene. And as unbelievable as it had felt, a tiny, deep part of her held out hope that the dream - or the possible future reality, whatever it was - would, one day, somehow, against all odds, come true.

She supposed she needed to make sure she didn't give up on that book.

She smiled to herself as she got out of her warm bed, stretched a bit, and ran a hand through her hair. She decided coffee was in order before she left for the Charmings' place, so she stepped into her slippers and padded into the hallway to go downstairs.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and the memory of kissing Robin there, underneath the mistletoe, returned to her. She made a mental note to hang a sprig of the plant there on future Christmases. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and tried to remember his hands on her, their lips meeting. She sighed, then took a step forward and-

She _kicked_ something. It felt soft, like cloth.

She looked down, and then her eyes widened as she noticed several objects scattered on the floor.

Henry?

No, he was at the Charmings. Nothing had been on the floor the night before.

She bent down and looked at the object she had kicked.

It was a scarf. An old, worn, scarf, like the ones that Robin liked to wear. Like the one she'd found on the ground in the village.

Then there was a second item, glimmering in a beam of early morning sunlight a few feet away from the scarf. It was also tossed haphazardly on the floor.

A necklace.

As she raised it in front of her eyes, she studied the tiny, delicate gold necklace. It had a little bird charm with a tiny green gem that looked like a emerald.

And finally, two steps away, there was a book.

_A Christmas Carol_, by Charles Dickens. She thought she'd left the book on her nightstand.

She noticed a paper sticking out of it, tucked between the pages of the tome. She opened up the book, and there it was.

Page twenty-three. The page she had ripped up and tossed aside at the town line a few weeks ago after she'd said goodbye to Robin.

She pulled it out and unfolded the heavy paper. It was perfectly in tact, not a rip in sight. Only the creases that Robin had made when he'd folded it and kept it in his pocket were there. She ran her hand across the smooth page. It was real, tangible. She was no longer asleep, or dreaming, or traveling or… _whatever_. She stared at the picture that she now knew by heart, but had previously refused to believe told the truth.

She clutched the scarf, necklace, book and page close to her, and looked around her, half-expecting Robin to appear in her house at that very moment.

But around her, the house was silent and peaceful.


End file.
